I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
