what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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