I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
