hotel room ftw
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
