eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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