I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
