Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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