so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
