Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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