she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
