just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
