she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
