So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
