Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize