I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
