I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
