So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
