so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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