uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
