Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
