I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
