You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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