there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No subtext here. People are naked.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
