I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
