So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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