HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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