I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
