So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
