I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
