Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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