I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
