Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i will never coherently bang her
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
