I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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