Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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