Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
