do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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