Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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