Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
