You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
