one might say we're banned from that church
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
