Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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