Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
