like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
