i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drake has all the answers
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
