I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
