The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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