Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
