They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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