your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
