Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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