We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
