you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
