Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
