My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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