you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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