thus making me awesome and them whores
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
