I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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