just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
