I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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