I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
